Social Contract

One of the only TV shows I have managed to stay loyal to for several years has been House, MD. I like this show for many reasons, the most recent being the addition of Olivia Wilde to the cast (when will she get rid of Foreman?!). I think that a lot of the episodes make good social points, and I love House's surly demeanor.

Last nights episode was no exception to this rule, and really made me examine what it is I like most about House (both the character and the show). In this episode a man has frontal lobe disinhibition (Similar to Phineas Gage) and goes from being a mild mannered, loving husband and father to... well... House. It really explored (as much as one can in an hour) the ways that people censor or inhibit themselves to remain socially acceptable. The episode was, appropriately, called Social Contracts. Apart from the governmental meanings of this phrase, it is interesting to consider how this applies in everyday life. What kind of contracts do we make with our employers, our friends, our families? If we have thoughts, but hide them, what kind of person are we -- the person we pretend to be, or the person on the inside? This then comes down to who decides what is socially acceptable, your relationships with people, etc.

For instance, I definitely censor myself at work. I don't think my personal views on religion, politics, abortion or gay marriage have any pertinence to my job. This means that my employer could think that I am an entirely different person than I actually am. I still think and feel the same way I always do, I just supress my usually vocal stances on certain topics.

With friends it definitely comes down to how long I've known you, or what kind of situation we meet in. Whenever I meet Twenty's friends they always get a huge dose of what I am actually like, because I know her so well and have no inhibitions around her. On the other hand if I am meeting a stranger for the first time at Yoga or at a bar I'll present myself in a more subdued manner.

I'm not really going anywhere specific with this, I just thought it was an interesting show that sparked some interesting thoughts. I feel that in the coming days I will pay closer attention to my interactions with people and when I do feel the need to make myself more "socially acceptable".

Fin.

May I just say that this was a fantastic weekend? I spent the entire weekend getting to visit with friends I've known forever, and made some new friends as well. I must reiterate the fabulousness that was Maya Angelou, I honestly feel like her talk was on the life changing level - just a shot of encouragement, wisdom and respect.

After the lazy, lazy afternoon on Saturday (where we watched Clueless. Really.) everyone prepared to go out. Jizzy attacked my eyebrows at my request, and might I say, she should be a professional. At the amazement of the only male in attendance, all 4 women were ready to go on time. EARLY, even. I know, it must have been a miracle. Ryan's Daughter was pretty cool and Jizzy had a birthday cake and balloons ready for Twenty, which was a fabulous. One of my favorite people on the entire planet was there and we spent most of dinner talking and catching up on things, and him mocking my snort. or telling me it was endearing. or something.

Brewer's was packed (as usual, i am told) and so I managed to procure a couple souveniors. Quite legally, I assure you! Then, the gaggle of increasingly drunk birthday celebrators moved on to Central. Twenty proceeded to become sloshed, as she should, and I ended the night only a bit tipsy, although I almost fell flat on my face in front of several policemen thanks to my inability to walk properly. The car ride back generated several interesting conversations, which shall not be posted here for the protection of everyone involved, and ended in the dissapointment of closed fast food joints.

I, reluctantly, left early on Sunday. After grabbing breakfast with RAR I drove the long drive from Glen Burnie (where'd I'd left my car) to Charlotte. Now, I don't know if any of you are drivers, but I am. I mean, really love driving. People are always appalled at the distances I'll drive instead of getting plane ticket, but I adore the feeling of cruising with the music on... having time on my own with my thoughts. I also find that going on long car rides with people will almost always end in you knowing a considerable amount more about the person than you could learn in years of friendship. Anyway, the weather was gorgeous, and so I was able to keep my windows down, music blaring, collecting awkward looks for my tendancy to dance while driving.

Just the start...

Last night was amazing! Hearing Maya Angelou speak was incredible. I think I gained more from the hour and a half of hearing her speak than all the years I have spent in various therapy sessions about self confidence, self respect and how to honorably remember the women you may have lost in your life. That alone was worth the drive up here.

After the talk we walked to Akbar and had some great Indian food, ordered enormous beers, and ate some sort of Indian desert which resembled bread pudding. We had planned on hanging out and drinking a bit, but it turned more into just watching some tv and passing out. I was snuggled by the adorable Andy (Twenty's kitty), and woke up ridiculously early. I am never able to sleep late, and it's even more problematic when I'm not at home. Looking forward to a possible nap this afternoon before heading to Ryan's Daughter for dinner.
I bombarded Twenty at about 7:30 for our venture into DC. Sticky Fingers, as expected, was amazing. RAR came with us and we met up with an old friend... it's nice that on top of getting to spend the weekend with Twenty, I've been able to see several people. After gorging ourselves on their wonderul pastries we dropped RAR off and stopped in Hampden at Sugar, which was a very educational visit, to say the least!
I'm now lazing about, looking forward to the debauchery that will ensue later!

Ode to KHT

This weekend will be wonderful. I can feel it, and I love that feeling. The start of something long anticipated, with people you really love. Coming into Baltimore on the light rail (something I've never done) was fantastic -- it gave me a little bit of time to reflect, while reminding me why I love Baltimore : It's gritty. Real. Dirty. Eclectic. I'm ashamed to say I don't remember the last time I actually went out in Baltimore, it may have been this weekend last year, but I am excited to rectify that situation.

I've arrived a bit early (I'm obsessively early) and so I have a few minutes to pound around my keyboard before meeting an old friend for sushi, then heading on to hear Maya Angelou speak.

This whole weekend is brought to you in part by Twenty's birthday... Her 7th 21st birthday (Yes, you read that right, I think she's in denial)... because of this I'm going to take the time to dedicate this entry to her.

Twenty and I have known each other for at least a decade. She and I have been through more shit (there is no better word) in that time period than most people would think possible. We've shared secrets, told stories, grown together and have even "broken up" for a short period. My relationship with her has grown more than any single relationship I've had in my entire life. We've been through the heartbreak caused by unfaithful lovers, and the guilt caused when we were the heartbreakers. We have both been through major family changes, and major changes within ourselves. She is someone who I know that, without a single doubt, I can call on. It has taken us many years to form this bond, but I would never trade our past tribulations as they are what have made us know the extent of our loyalty and trust for one another. She is my sister in all senses of the word, and I am proud to have her as a friend.

Happy Birthday and, as always, I wish you only the best.

Now let's get our drink on ;) !!

Mush.

Thanks to Twenty I was recently perusing an apparel site and came across these. AMAZING. That is all there is to it!

That is pretty much all you're going to get in the way of an update. My brain is pretty mushy at the moment. Doing laundry late at night doesn't do much to stimulate me. I have the pug snuggled up next to me, and am burning CDs (all very very legal) to keep me company on the long drive to Charm City. I was going to bring David Sedaris' 'When You Are Engulfed in Flames' but it is almost 5 hours of book on tape! Thats a lot. I may still, because I'd really like to "read" it... but this would be my first real book-on-tape experience, and I'm not sure if this is a good one. It is, however, actually David Sedaris reading, which gives it MASSIVE points. I just adore him.

Ok I'm out.

Whoa.

Recently I've been very reflective. Along with my decision to go back to school, I have been evaluating the things in my life that make me happy and fulfilled. With this comes a lot of reminiscing, and so I decided to look up my old blog, which was on livejournal. HOLY SHIT, is all I have to say.
I started that journal back in 2004 (5 years ago?! wow) and the changes in myself are monumental. Obviously some things haven't changed -- I still feel insecure sometimes, I still feel like I never make enough time for my friends, I always wish I could travel more. My writing has definitely changed, although I must say some of the poems I wrote and posted aren't so bad. There are so many people mentioned in my previous journal who I just don't speak to anymore... it's a weird feeling.
The journal entries are random, and I just put whatever thoughts I had into the journal, without any real regard for my own privacy (I may just think this because I know all of the stories behind the entries). They are not particularly well thought out, and very few of them make good points, but it is crazy to be able to look back and see what I was thinking at what points.
Twenty has read some of it, as well, and makes the point of how young we were. Not that in the five years since I started that journal we have suddenly become wise, but so many things are different. She and I were college room mates and always acted ridiculous together (which we still do). Our relationship is much more mature, or at least more honest and open, and we as people want different things.
I guess looking back at all the insanity I wouldn't change the decisions I've made. I'm still not entirely sure who I am or where I am going, but I look forward to coming back to this journal one day and seeing the major changes in myself.

Gew.

I'm going to write about something that is a little embarrassing to admit, but has become a huge annoyance in my life: I have a cockroach problem. Not like an infestation, but one every couple days or so. Apparently this is one of the problems with living in the Southeastern part of the US. And these are no wimpy cockroaches, my friends. These are enormous American Coackroaches. They randomly appear and gross me out and I always have to kill them.

For instance:

This weekend I was in the kitchen cooking. Imagine my surprise when I turn around and out of nowhere there was a cockroach the size of my thumb chilling on the wall. It was right above Simon's kennel, so after pulling that out of the way I grabbed the "kills on contact" roach spray. This spray LIED to me. After months of killing these cockroaches with a bleach cleaning product, I decided I would get an actual roach spray. Well let me tell you, the bleach worked better. After giving up with the "on contact kill" I just tried to drown it. It started to slow down, which is a plus because these fuckers are fast, so I stepped on it. AND IT DIDN'T DIE. Attempt nubmer 2 at squashing was MUCH more violent because, well, i was pissed. Finally, dead cockroach. Which i now have to pick up and continue to be disguisted by.

Basically these things are just gross and there is no way to stop them from coming in, especially when it is cold outside.

I hope I have sufficiently grossed everyone else out.