Time...

Hi, my name is Carol, remember me? I used to blog on a regular basis. And now, due to my life exploding and becoming insane, I can barely get in a regular update.

I am really going to try and be much better about this, if only so that I can have this is reflect in/on in the future. So, I feel like a lot has happened since I've last updated. Big thing: I got into UNCC! I'm pretty stoked about it, although not as confident as I had previously been about my track. While I love writing, I don't want to teach. And I would really like a bachelors that allows me to do something I enjoy, so I'm looking into something more in the science/math field, because as we all know, Math is My Life! So, I was officially accepted on friday (the picture is of one of the main buildings on campus), and classes start in oh, two and half weeks, so I am frantically trying to get everything together so that I can start. On top of all this, I am job searching, as my nanny job is over the friday before classes start! Let me tell you, I have a new appreciation for the word "recession". I have sent out resumes to at least 50 jobs, most of which were simple receptionist positions, and have gotten 3 phone calls. One was a scam, the other didn't work because of timing, and the third is an interview I have with a temp agency on friday. In the meantime, I'm pretty much driving myself crazy stressing out about every little thing. I try really hard not, but some times it is difficult. Although I feel I'm doing a better job of it than I usually do. This past weekend was very helpful in that -- Hub and I took the puppies down to Atlanta and spent some time with very quality people, who always make me feel loved, and always help me to relax.

I've also begun the task of sorting through some boxes of pictures that I got from my dad. Let me tell you, that is a long walk down memory lane. Sometimes the pictures make me happy, and sometimes they me melancholy or wistful. Either way, I'm very glad to have them.

Ok, that is all for now.

Politics and Life

I've had a lot of things I've wanted to say lately, but haven't really had the time to sit down write them out properly.

Many things about politics, the focus of the media, and the distractions that are being offered up instead of actual news. Please keep in mind this coming from a democrat who very proudly voted for Obama -- all of this is very frustrating to me. I really put my trust into a system that I feel has always been, well, off kilter or unfair, and I really thought that would make a big direction change. Maybe it's unfair to judge this harshly 6 months in, but Obama gave us HUGE promises, direction and most of all HOPE. While I know that some people still think of him as too liberal, in my eyes he is not liberal, at least not the liberal we were promised.

On top of all my infatuation with news as of late, I have been job hunting (yikes) as well as trying to sort out what I'm doing for school in the fall. Once I have more concrete news on that, I'll be sure to let you know.

Happily, my puppies are doing fabulously, and River is now TEN POUNDS. Less than 2 months ago she was a shrimpy 4 pounds, so she's growing well, and Simon and River absolutely love eachother.

Fin.

May I just say that this was a fantastic weekend? I spent the entire weekend getting to visit with friends I've known forever, and made some new friends as well. I must reiterate the fabulousness that was Maya Angelou, I honestly feel like her talk was on the life changing level - just a shot of encouragement, wisdom and respect.

After the lazy, lazy afternoon on Saturday (where we watched Clueless. Really.) everyone prepared to go out. Jizzy attacked my eyebrows at my request, and might I say, she should be a professional. At the amazement of the only male in attendance, all 4 women were ready to go on time. EARLY, even. I know, it must have been a miracle. Ryan's Daughter was pretty cool and Jizzy had a birthday cake and balloons ready for Twenty, which was a fabulous. One of my favorite people on the entire planet was there and we spent most of dinner talking and catching up on things, and him mocking my snort. or telling me it was endearing. or something.

Brewer's was packed (as usual, i am told) and so I managed to procure a couple souveniors. Quite legally, I assure you! Then, the gaggle of increasingly drunk birthday celebrators moved on to Central. Twenty proceeded to become sloshed, as she should, and I ended the night only a bit tipsy, although I almost fell flat on my face in front of several policemen thanks to my inability to walk properly. The car ride back generated several interesting conversations, which shall not be posted here for the protection of everyone involved, and ended in the dissapointment of closed fast food joints.

I, reluctantly, left early on Sunday. After grabbing breakfast with RAR I drove the long drive from Glen Burnie (where'd I'd left my car) to Charlotte. Now, I don't know if any of you are drivers, but I am. I mean, really love driving. People are always appalled at the distances I'll drive instead of getting plane ticket, but I adore the feeling of cruising with the music on... having time on my own with my thoughts. I also find that going on long car rides with people will almost always end in you knowing a considerable amount more about the person than you could learn in years of friendship. Anyway, the weather was gorgeous, and so I was able to keep my windows down, music blaring, collecting awkward looks for my tendancy to dance while driving.

Mush.

Thanks to Twenty I was recently perusing an apparel site and came across these. AMAZING. That is all there is to it!

That is pretty much all you're going to get in the way of an update. My brain is pretty mushy at the moment. Doing laundry late at night doesn't do much to stimulate me. I have the pug snuggled up next to me, and am burning CDs (all very very legal) to keep me company on the long drive to Charm City. I was going to bring David Sedaris' 'When You Are Engulfed in Flames' but it is almost 5 hours of book on tape! Thats a lot. I may still, because I'd really like to "read" it... but this would be my first real book-on-tape experience, and I'm not sure if this is a good one. It is, however, actually David Sedaris reading, which gives it MASSIVE points. I just adore him.

Ok I'm out.

Whoa.

Recently I've been very reflective. Along with my decision to go back to school, I have been evaluating the things in my life that make me happy and fulfilled. With this comes a lot of reminiscing, and so I decided to look up my old blog, which was on livejournal. HOLY SHIT, is all I have to say.
I started that journal back in 2004 (5 years ago?! wow) and the changes in myself are monumental. Obviously some things haven't changed -- I still feel insecure sometimes, I still feel like I never make enough time for my friends, I always wish I could travel more. My writing has definitely changed, although I must say some of the poems I wrote and posted aren't so bad. There are so many people mentioned in my previous journal who I just don't speak to anymore... it's a weird feeling.
The journal entries are random, and I just put whatever thoughts I had into the journal, without any real regard for my own privacy (I may just think this because I know all of the stories behind the entries). They are not particularly well thought out, and very few of them make good points, but it is crazy to be able to look back and see what I was thinking at what points.
Twenty has read some of it, as well, and makes the point of how young we were. Not that in the five years since I started that journal we have suddenly become wise, but so many things are different. She and I were college room mates and always acted ridiculous together (which we still do). Our relationship is much more mature, or at least more honest and open, and we as people want different things.
I guess looking back at all the insanity I wouldn't change the decisions I've made. I'm still not entirely sure who I am or where I am going, but I look forward to coming back to this journal one day and seeing the major changes in myself.

Gew.

I'm going to write about something that is a little embarrassing to admit, but has become a huge annoyance in my life: I have a cockroach problem. Not like an infestation, but one every couple days or so. Apparently this is one of the problems with living in the Southeastern part of the US. And these are no wimpy cockroaches, my friends. These are enormous American Coackroaches. They randomly appear and gross me out and I always have to kill them.

For instance:

This weekend I was in the kitchen cooking. Imagine my surprise when I turn around and out of nowhere there was a cockroach the size of my thumb chilling on the wall. It was right above Simon's kennel, so after pulling that out of the way I grabbed the "kills on contact" roach spray. This spray LIED to me. After months of killing these cockroaches with a bleach cleaning product, I decided I would get an actual roach spray. Well let me tell you, the bleach worked better. After giving up with the "on contact kill" I just tried to drown it. It started to slow down, which is a plus because these fuckers are fast, so I stepped on it. AND IT DIDN'T DIE. Attempt nubmer 2 at squashing was MUCH more violent because, well, i was pissed. Finally, dead cockroach. Which i now have to pick up and continue to be disguisted by.

Basically these things are just gross and there is no way to stop them from coming in, especially when it is cold outside.

I hope I have sufficiently grossed everyone else out.

Weekend

ok, loves.

I've been way too in my head the last few days, and haven't posted anything for fear of word vomiting all over my blog. I think I'm together enough (at least at the moment) to hash out some sort of semi-coherent statements.

Next weekend I'll be heading to Bmore for Twenty's birthday. WOO CHA. I'm really excited to head back and hang out with a couple of my favorite people on the whole planet. We've got plans to hear Maya Angelou speak at U Balt, Hit up Brewer's Art and head to DC for Sticky Fingers -- and that is just the start. I'm pretty sure we plan to relive some college moments with body shots -- yes, body shots -- and other such debauchery. I'll be sure to keep you posted on that excitement.

Looking forward to the weekend, as I have no real plans other than heading to Howl at The Moon this evening. It's rainy and gross so I'll probably be staying indoors avoiding all the cleaning my townhouse desperately needs.

Crawling

Just had a great evening!

Met up with some friends in NoDa for our first Charlotte Gallery crawl. I was immediately surprised how difficult it was to find parking! Even in the chilly weather, every where seemed to be pretty busy. The Hub and I met said friends at a small coffee house, Smelly Cat, and were introduced to the guy who would be playing music for the evening. After grabbing a quick chai, we decided to peruse some galleries, promising the evenings musical act at the coffe place we'd return. The first gallery we stopped at was populated by college students showing their art. They all seemed nervous and over eager, but the art was surprisingly good. A piece with political connotations caught my eye, and after asking the artist about it I was dissapointed that he didn't have more to say about the politics of the piece... it seemed it was kind of a spur of the moment art work. Which I suppose is fine, Art does not need an agenda. The students were talkative and generously poured the free wine, overall not dissapointing.

We moved on to the next gallery, which seemed to have a more varied crowd, and more experienced art work. Overall it was enjoyable, but I certainly don't understand the price tags on many of the pieces! Not that the works of art aren't beautiful or moving or fun or interesting, but I can't see paying 8000 for an artist I've never heard of. I suppose it is considered an investment?

In the spirit of not boring my Hub, we decided to stop at a bar, Dolce Vita, where I partook in the fabulous and under appreciated Framboise! It was fantastic. Listened to a great guitar/violin duet there (part rock, part classical, I loved it). It was the kind of place that made you feel simultaneously at home and as if you were in a special, intimate place.

Back to the Smelly Cat. More Chai. Josh and Dane (who, if I could find his webpage, I would link it. Sadly, I cannot) was fantastic! The kind of chill, acoustic perfect coffee house music that I love. He played a mix of originals and covers, all of which were thourghly enjoyable. It made me miss my guitar. I enjoy the small, arts setting and definitely hope to hear them again!

Great night. Looking forward to catching up with old friends tomorrow!

For now, pug is snuggly, and I must comply with his furry demands.

Umm...

Despite my down and dreary rain-days, I am still riding on my high of finally being able to make a decision. I realize that this isn't a huge accomplishment to some people, but when you've been a slacker for as long as I have, it's the small things that really count. As ridiculous as this sounds I feel like I'm starting over. I'm leaving all my bullshit, all my excuses and just going for something I want. Who knew it would feel so liberating?

In talking with The Hub about it (as I must, even though it is ultimately my decision I figure I should consult the person who will have to deal most with my insanity) he is ridiculously supportive. There is no hesitation on his part when it comes to this decision. I have more insecurities about it than he does, which I suppose is good. In talking to my friend Rar about the situation he has made a couple good points. First, I'm probably not as big of a slacker as I think I am and Second, Other people almost always have more faith in you than you do in yourself. Both of these I believe are true, and so I will soldier on until I actually start doing something that makes me feel accomplished.

Looking forward to going to a gallery/bar crawl tomorrow night -- it's in the Arts District here (dubbed NoDa) and I've wanted to check one out since we moved, and am finally getting the motivation to do so.