Thursday, September 3, 2009

It only gets better with...

(I took this picture last year at Childress Vineyards, when coming to look for a place to live. Who knew moving to NC would bring such large changes to my life!)

Now that I've settled into a routine, I can honestly say that being back in school is a) weirder than I thought it would be and b) more of an adjustment. As a person who has done a lot of "personal renovations" (of the mental/spiritual/philosophical/confidence kind) over the last few years, it is very strange for me to be in a setting where I have, for the most part, no power. I am very used to interacting with people who are older and have more education than I do... and am used to being viewed as a peer or equal. The fact that I have friends who are the same age, and with similar education as some of my professors is a bit disconcerting. I want to have more of a conversation, but college is not a conversation. It is a "sit down and learn what I'm saying". I'm not sure if that makes any sense, but it's a weird feeling to be at the bottom of the totem pole again.
As far as the adjustment goes -- it's a scheduling thing. I've been used to coming home, having some wine, taking naps, going to the park, etc, etc. Now I am a slave to my schedule -- when am I working? When is class? When is this assignment due? Do I have enough time? It's resulted in my getting up too early, and going to bed too late. Despite this, I am very happy with my decision to return to school, even if it's taking a moment for me to get my brain in learning/studying mode. I feel very frustrated at times that I didn't get my act together sooner... knowing that I could have completed school already, and be in my career. It's very difficult not to look back like that, but I stumbled across this beautiful quote, that is very well stated, and means a lot to me:

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. - Maria Robinson

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