Sunday, April 25, 2010

For me.

And so, in this ever evolving state of self, I have learned the following things:

I am a difficult person to get to know.
Silence and alone time are more important to my sanity than anything else.
I talk too loudly. And occasionally too much.
I am terrible at returning phone calls.
My sarcasm is sometimes unintentionally mean.
I am, despite protests, a largely "type A" person.
I am periodically pretentious.
I demand a lot from those I allow to be close to me.
I am looking for honesty.
I am only interested in people who are a bit of a mess.
I am not ready to date.
I am just as confused about the way life works as I was ten years ago.
Reading makes me happier than most other activities.
I frequently forget that I am a grown up.
It is OK for me to make selfish decisions.
It is also OK for me to change my mind.
I'm not sure that I'll ever know who I am for more than a moment, and I am beginning to like that.

This list is not well written, terribly interesting, or even relevant to any one but myself. It is incomplete and ever changing. In this moment, in these days of frustration and low self esteem, it helps me to see a picture of the person I think I am. It will help me to see where I am going. And, in my increasingly unpredictable life, it may just push me to work a little harder to be a better self.

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